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F**K You're Old Handmade Birthday Card for Adults
£3.00 GBP
Taxes included.
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The Birthday Card for Anyone Who's Stopped Counting
Right, let's be honest. Once you hit a certain age, birthday cakes become less celebration and more fire safety concern. This rather fabulous card gets that perfectly awkward moment and runs with it, featuring a cake positively drowning in candles alongside a strategically placed fire extinguisher and the text you've probably been thinking anyway.
Why Choose Our Handmade Card
Beautifully Crafted in the UK: Designed and printed by hand right here, this is the real deal. Heavy 300gsm eco-friendly card stock that feels properly made, not mass-produced and forgettable.
Hits Just Right: It's cheeky, it's a little bit naughty, and it lands perfectly with anyone who appreciates humour that doesn't take itself seriously. The sort of card that gets passed around and laughed over.
Room for Your Words: Completely blank inside, so you can add whatever personal message makes sense. Or don't, honestly. Sometimes the front says everything.
Good for the Planet: FSC certified recycled paper means you can feel smugly virtuous while being deliberately irreverent.
Comes Ready to Go: Arrives with a cheerful yellow envelope, and if you'd like, we'll handwrite your message and send it straight to the lucky person turning ancient.
Product Details
Size: A6 (fits standard envelopes)
Card Stock: 300gsm FSC certified eco-friendly paper
Envelope: Colourful recycled paper, rather fetching
Interior: Blank for your message
Made: Handmade and illustrated in the UK
Tone: Funny, naughty, and utterly unfiltered
Perfect for colleague birthdays, milestone celebrations (30th, 40th, 50th, 60th), best friends, and anyone who enjoys a bit of affectionate mockery. Order now and make someone's ridiculous birthday just a touch more ridiculous, in the best possible way.
SHIPPING + RETURNS
THE RATHER IMPORTANT BITS
This rather lovely piece ships directly from our brand partner - we work with independent brands who are absolutely brilliant and work frightfully hard to create beautiful things.
SHIPPING DESTINATIONS
Now, here's the thing - our wonderful brand partners ship to lots of different places, but not all of them can ship worldwide.
Some are brilliant at international shipping, others prefer to keep things closer to home.
At checkout, you'll see exactly where this particular brand can send your goodies.
We're terribly sorry, but shipping costs do vary rather wildly depending on where you are in the world. The exact figures pop up at checkout - no nasty surprises!
RETURNS
You have 14 days to return items.
Now, we absolutely adore our brand partners - they work incredibly hard and we do try to support them as much as we possibly can. So I'm rather afraid we have to pass the return postage costs back to you. Frightfully sorry about that!
🌍 PLEASE CHOOSE THOUGHTFULLY:
Our wonderful partners put their hearts into everything they make.
Ordering multiple sizes to try at home is rather hard on our planet and makes things jolly difficult for these brilliant independent creators.
When in doubt, do ask us first!
PAYMENT
We're frightfully modern and accept all the usual suspects:
Visa, Mastercard, American Express, PayPal, Apple Pay, Google Pay, and Shop Pay
SECURE AS HOUSES
Everything's properly encrypted and secure - your details are safer than the Crown Jewels!
All prices in lovely British pounds £ GBP, though international chaps will see converted prices.
Any payment pickle? We're here to help sort things out! Contact us
We Have Lots More Like This.........
Hello, we are Sostter....
Sostter began, as all good ideas do, with a lively conversation and a shared sense of frustration. Why had the world of independent design become so serious, so samey, so… beige? Where was the spark, the imagination, the sheer joy of discovering something that made you stop and stare?
We dreamt of a marketplace that celebrated difference — where curious minds could explore a world of independent brands, design-led makers, and thoughtful artisans. A space that felt exciting, human, and beautifully imperfect.
Today, Sostter brings together remarkable people and their creations — from London to Lausanne, Brooklyn to Berlin — uniting makers and discoverers through craftsmanship, creativity, and conscience. Every object tells a story, and every purchase supports an independent brand doing things differently.
This is just the beginning. But enough about us — step inside, explore our world, and see what catches your imagination.
Giving Back
We’re proud to support Sutton Night Watch, a grassroots UK charity making a real difference in the lives of those facing homelessness. Through regular donations of stock, supplies, and essentials, we back their mission to offer warmth, dignity, and practical help to anyone in need — right where it matters most.
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Sostter partners with independent brands that intrigue, inspire, and bring something genuinely different to the world of fashion, design, and living.Join us!